books – Page 3

always be closing

Posted on February 21, 2018February 21, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

‘thoughts are great…but action leads to closing’

A.B.C.

I must admit it…my house is a mess! And…I just cleaned up that area. How does it already look like a storm hit it?

I have to confess…I’ve started a thousand projects around here, and about 999 of them still seem ‘under construction’.

I should accept it. I have a problem. Actually many, but I’ll start with this one and see if I can find closure with it.

I peg myself as really good at coming up with ideas. I have journals and sheets and post it notes collected with a bunch of random ideas. These can be related to business, the house, relationships, professional development, investments, blah blah blah. Most of my ideas are bad. However, I believe that while coming up with many poor ideas…and documenting them…I’m bound to come up with a good one here and there. It’s almost like I come up with 99 bad ideas for every one diamond in the rough. It’s a low shooting percentage but hey, if you don’t shoot you can’t score.

I do feel strongly about documenting by the way. If you don’t put your thoughts and ideas and goals down on paper, or somewhere digitally, they’ll just float around in your head, and possible float out of your head for good. Once you put them somewhere, you can make space in your head for developing that idea or adding interest to it…or coming up with another one. Find yourself a cool journal, even a good expensive one. It’s investing in your own brain/goals/ideas. And it will encourage you to put good use to it, and hold value in your own beliefs.

So I’m good with all that stuff. My interests are many. I’m quick to jump into things and just try something. I love learning anything new. However…I’m not good with following the practice of the phrase, ‘Always Be Closing’. This phrase is from the 1992 drama film called Glengarry Glen Ross, in which the character played by Alec Baldwin encourages some of the other characters to close deals within their sales work. Watch out for bad language, but here is a great clip from the movie. Look…it’s a very shallow message in regards to simply making more money above all else, and disregarding things like being a good dad, or being kind. However, it struck a chord with me in how it can relate to the idea of completing something. And this is what I have trouble with. As I said, I can start a bunch of projects. But I never seem to finish many of them.

This weekend, I had a task that I wanted to complete. The ramps in my landscape trailer have to be lifted in and mounted to the inside walls for transportation. Well, I’ve always had this crap system of a cheap eye-hook and bungee chords to hold them in place. Boring I know…bear with me. This system has bothered me for about 5 years. I can’t believe that! I’ve spoken about it, wrote down ideas, sworn at it many times…but never really done anything about it. Well on Saturday night and into Sunday morning, I came up with a plan, went to the hardware store for materials, and put in a new ramp mounting system. It was actually pretty easy! On Sunday, I found myself putting all of my tools back in their proper place, sweeping up the garage floor of all debris, and wiping down my workbench with a cleaner and paper towels. I suddenly thought, ‘Oh my…I’ve actually completed something, and I’m in the very final stage of cleaning up the mess associated with it. I never do this!’ I’m telling you…it felt so good. I immediately thought about ‘Always Be Closing’, and the benefits related to that. I thought about Casey Neistat, and how he has those words tattooed on his arm. He actually dedicated an entire Vlog to this idea. Watch it here!

Neistat says that if you start a bunch of things and don’t finish them, you’re a loser. That’s me…how sad. Someone who starts something and always finishes it is a closer. That’s not me. My new focus is to become more of a closer. I must bring my ideas to fruition…see them through to their fullest potential. I’m on it. By closing, and completing something, we are able to reap the rewards related to our project. After dealing with annoyance of the ramp system in my trailer for 5 years, and halfheartedly poking at it here and there with temporary repairs, no wonder I felt so good about putting smart and hard work to it and having it completed.

Closing leads to you feeling much more productive.

Closing frees up space in your head for other, more important ideas.

Closing encourages intellect and hard work over complaining and hoping.

Closing leads to more appreciation instead of expectation.

Don’t be a loser…be a closer!

Organization

A.B.C. totally relates to keeping our lives organized too. This is an area that I struggle with, and one that I’ll be putting some more focus into. When you come home…with a bunch of things in your hands…maybe a bag or two…and pockets full of receipts and change and hair clips (for some reason, I always find myself here)…do you put everything away in it’s designated spot? What I usually do is pile it onto my dining room table. It’s flat, easy to access, and I won’t need the table until about 5:30pm. That’s not closing. That’s losing! The worst is when I’ve put together a nice dinner and I go to bring plates to the table for Matilda and I, to find my loser pile in the way. Worst!

I do have all of the designated places for things. I have a file cabinet with nicely labeled folders, a piggy bank in the living room, a cup in the bathroom for Matilda’s hair clips. I just don’t follow that step of putting things directly into their proper place. And this is key. If you hired someone to come ‘organize your house’ or your life, a main thread would be to immediately place things into their position. Put them in their home. Look at your computer desk, your kitchen counters, the desktop on your computer…even your email inbox. Are you organized? I’ve started trying to get to a totally empty email inbox as often as possible. This entails creating simple folders, unsubscribing from all of the crap, deleting as soon as possible, and once a day, taking care of pertinent messages. It relieves so much stress for me to have a clean slate. But I need to work on the more ‘physical’ areas of my life…and organize those. I want to finish more projects on my to do list…not just start them. I don’t want to be a loser anymore…I want to be a closer! Please comment if you’ve found effective ways of ‘closing’ in your own life.

thoughts are great…but action leads to closing!

Music: Blind Pilot is an Oregon based band. They use interesting instruments like a mountain dulcimer, vibraphone, and a harmonium. Here’s a great one called New York.

If you like what you’ve read, please use the ‘follow by email’ bar below. I appreciate you reading!

i’m no different than you

Posted on February 20, 2018February 20, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

‘just my thoughts man – right or wrong…just what I was feeling at the time’ – Jay Z

We cannot really judge one another, or blame one another for our thoughts and opinions. It is honestly best to forgive someone for ideas you disagree with. Best to appreciate their perspective. Taking this approach broadens your own perspective, and allows you to employ a broader scope…a wider lens.

I once heard a line related to this, and it’s surfaced often when thinking about others…and our differences. It basically says that ‘you would do exactly what any other person does…behave in the same exact manner…had you been born to their parents, in the place they were raised, and brought up the same way’. I’m not sure where I heard this. Maybe it just came to me. Actually, I’ll just go ahead and claim it as mine right now! However simple it may be, it has provided me with a moral integrity in which I believe we’re all on the same level playing field.

Here is a healthy practice for you to try: think of a child living in a very different situation and place than what you have…preferably a child in a different culture, different socio-economic situation…something almost ‘opposite’ of you. Then consider the fact that this child could have been you! What if you were born there? Had to walk in those shoes? In that climate? This consideration has helped me develop a better understanding of others, and has led to less judgement. It’s allowed me to listen more effectively. It’s let me submit to others, and forgive, and appreciate.

This can sound like a weak position. Always submitting to others, and forgiving when people hurt me, or bring adversity to my life? Won’t that just lead to people steam rolling over me and using me as a doormat? No. Believe it or not, giving up control and judgement has given me a stronger sense of who I am. Instead of wasting so much energy on trying to control others, and situations, to no avail…I maintain a positive mindset, and often frame a response in my mind with the phrase ‘Is that so?’ This provides a position where almost nothing can knock me off course, regardless of the strength of the tides. I acknowledge the potential storm. I maintain the secure and reliable mast, and calmly set the main sail. Then I begin wayfinding through the tempest. I feel like Maui…with Moana at my side!

I once feared different ideas and opinions, opposite of my own. I was once intimidated by others who stood for values other than mine. This fear is what I believe to be one of the obstacles between groups not seeing eye to eye. And considering how many of us often fear the unknown, it may not even be a conscious wall we’re constructing within our minds. A natural cascading and compounding of negative or fear-filled thoughts can build, without us being aware. It’s as if within our typical day, during our tasks, we mindlessly grab a brick and place it on an arbitrary line. When the day is done, we’ve put up a faulty facade…a sloppy screen between ourselves and others. It gives you a false sense of security, and you may be proud of where you stand and what you’ve built. But the wall was constructed on careless judgement, weak mortar mix, an uneven foundation…not deliberate decisions, mindful masonry, on a level, compacted cornerstone.

I’ve already blogged some about being aware of our own thoughts, and the benefits of thinking positive. Here is a post related to that. This awareness will help to clean up your rubble if you have some, and strengthen your position and security without the need of a wall. What’s the best way to find that awareness? Start meditating. And start being mindful of your thoughts and reactions to different subjects. It takes practice like anything else. But with a little training, you’ll find yourself on a journey filled with happiness and contentment. Your shoulder may soften with the chip removed, allowing others a better landing to lean on.

One final thought that I think of often is ‘how do i make other people feel?’ At the end of our short time in this place, this question may be central to how successful our time was actually invested. This is of course difficult to know, as we can’t totally understand how others feel about us. And it’s less about what others ‘think’ of us…more about the kindness, support, generosity, and acceptance that we provide…hopefully leading to a comfort and security felt by the people around us. I believe a good, healthy self check-in is to ask yourself ‘how am I making other people feel?’

You feel me?

Music: Here is an oldie but a goodie from The Lumineers. The band leader’s wife told him he was like the Dead Sea…that she’ll never sink when he’s with her…and he wrote a song including this sentiment. How romantic.

emailsig

en-tre-pre-neur

Posted on February 18, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

originally published on 5/12/17

‘the most dangerous thing you can do in life is play it safe’ – Casey Neistat

Sit down. Don’t talk. Raise your hand. Stay in line. Don’t be late. Quiet down. Put that away. Share. Read this. Watch that. You can eat now. Play like this. Don’t speak out. Settle down. Be prepared.

This is what our kids are told…time and time again. What must become slowly and steadily ingrained is the idea that they should all conform, follow the crowd, learn how everyone else does, choose a career, spend a lot of money to study within that field with a college education, find a company to work for, and work…so that you can afford things like a car and a house and a latte…then, they will be successful.

Are we introducing and exposing our children to enough entrepreneurial ideas to truly let them know about other options they may have? At Concord High School, I can remember one single unit within I believe an Economics class. Mr. Denoncourt worked so hard with us to help us pronounce the word en-tre-pre-neur. I said it wrong until college. I don’t remember a single thing from that unit we studied however…but I’m sure it was thorough in explaining the option for citizens to…yippee! start your own business! You could make and sell cookies with your mom, or you could design a t-shirt, and sell it out of the trunk of your car. I’m sure the text book detailed some of the easier fields to enter as a business starter, like construction, landscaping, or dog walking. I’m sure one of the bolded subject headings was ‘be your own boss’, and we probably discussed as a class the pros and cons to running your own company. Mr Denoncourt was genuine in his efforts, I am sure. But all I remember is äntrəprəˈnər.

Considering the loyalty once involved in working for a company, and the lack of commitment and loyalty in present times, we owe it to our kids to expose them to more. One unit is not enough. I’m sure there was more within my high school curriculum and I just missed it…I was in a fog most of the time. But I know there wasn’t enough.

Years ago, one could be very secure in choosing a company to work for, sticking with that job for many years, and then retiring with a good sized pension to ride off into the sunset with. It is not the same today. It’s predicted that our youngest workers will hold around 12-15 jobs in their lifetime. It’s also commonly noted that the average worker will make 5-7 career changes during there career. It is simply a very different workplace.

Speak out. Hustle. Grind. Don’t sleep. Find a loophole. Challenge authority. Follow your gut. The time is right now. Make your own line to stand in. You are creative. Develop grit. Ask more questions. Better questions. Come up with ideas. More than that. Start something now. Take the risk. Don’t seek comfort. Don’t listen to me. Do whatever the #%@$ you want to do, whenever the #%@$ you want to do it.

What if these were some ideas we showered our kids with? That’s it…I’m starting a school, and the paragraph above will serve as the uncommon core curriculum. The mission statement will have to be, ‘do whatever the #%@$ you want to do, whenever the #%@$ you want to do it’. When I step back and think, that phrase can simply define success like no other. Children and adults alike could find so much happiness and success by first searching, finding, discovering, and identifying their own passions and loves…and then working, playing, and living within those areas as much as possible. I’m not sure our schools, our communities, our parents, our culture is set up for that.

I want my daughter Matilda to know that there are many paths. And that she has many choices. She’ll be able to pronounce entrepreneur this year. I’m going to introduce her to my uncommon curriculum…though I might leave out the do whatever you want part for now. I’m still figuring this parenting thing out. She will though, be able to dream something up, take a risk, and even fail, knowing that she’ll have help to get up and find a different way.

In the short term, we’re starting a small farm stand called The Grower’s Daughter. Matilda is very excited about this. She’ll be selling some plants we started from seed, some breads that we made, cookies, vegetables and honey in the Fall, and whatever else comes to mind. The Grand Opening is tomorrow from 11-1pm at our house…so please stop by to say hello! I’m hoping that this new adventure will play a small part in helping her develop some skills, passion, and even some hustle.

Music: Here is a beautiful song called Cherry Wine by Hozier. It actually raised awareness and funds for domestic violence. Enjoy!

tell me a story

Posted on February 12, 2018February 13, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

‘there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so’ – Shakespeare

What kind of story are you telling? What type of narrative streams through you? We all have certain filters and lenses that we view the world through. And we all accept or determine what happens in our world depending on what we see. Maybe you’re 20/20…or maybe you need a new prescription.

12248034_10153796877976155_8727105625880799275_o

The story that you are telling is directly related to the thoughts you are having…so it’s really the story that you’re telling yourself. When you open your eyes first thing in the morning, what are your thoughts? Are they positive and ‘bucket filling’ to coin a term used by my neighbor, or do you start the day off with negative ’emptying’ thoughts? “If you win the morning, you win the day,’ according to Tim Ferriss, and understanding the start to your day may help in determining how you feel when you lay your head down at night. In this sense though, the morning is a defining moment…you’re still hatching, and your mind is a blend of subconscious and conscious thought. You are the true sense of yourself, and don’t yet wear the mask of the day. If you’re not aware of your own thoughts, and you’re trying to build self-awareness, this is a good place to start… write down what you’re feeling, or at least notice…do I feel good, healthy, ready, depressed, lethargic?

For the most part of my life, I told myself stories that weren’t helpful. I viewed the world as a place where things happened to me…some good things yes…but mostly a bunch of small, negative things. I often found a routine of complaining (to myself and out loud), being annoyed at the system and at other people (mostly people I envied), and wondering why me? and why don’t I get the breaks that others find so easily?

My mornings were dreaded, and I wasn’t excited to start the day. I didn’t enjoy being around other people too much…especially anyone who challenged me. And even things that were achieved that I thought would get me beyond that story were short lived…and it started all over the next day. Writing this sounds depressing. But interestingly enough, I would say that I view my entire life as being ‘happy’. I guess I just thought that’s how everyone lived and that it was out of my control. I wasn’t sad about it, but I knew there was another way.

I also noticed many others doing the same thing so I didn’t feel alone. For the most part, the two negative emotions commonly threading through most people is anger and fear. Tony Robbins talks a lot about these. The place I noticed it most often, and a good test site for you…is driving in the car. Driving is so unique in that we’re boxed in, somewhat secluded, a little bit hidden, but also interacting and dancing with other people…how crazy! I can think of many instances while riding with others when the driver of the car I was in immediately created a negative story about what was going on around us. Someone riding a bike on the road and the driver would say something like, ‘what does this ________ think he’s doing?’ Fill in the blank with your favorite vulgar term. Or at a 4 way stop…one car chooses not to obey the unwritten rule of ‘if we arrive at the same time, the car on the right gets to go first’. ‘What the _____ does that _______ think he’s doing?’ Car talk is a great way to check yourself and listen to the story that is being told. Ultimately, the tale is up to you.

I used to drive like an idiot. It’s actually embarrassing to think about, especially with the loud and obnoxious vehicles I chose. I would often try to ‘get people back’ on the road, teach them a lesson, and get places as fast as humanly possible. It basically resulted in more stress, more speeding tickets, and a feeling of always running late. These days I drive slow. I try to avoid all stress and people that are clearly in a huge rush. And I never get upset about what others are doing…well almost never. It’s a work in progress ok? What I came to realize though, is that a lot of what makes up our day, our feelings, our happiness or lack thereof, our relationships…is simply based on our thoughts surrounding them. A more important realization for me though, is that we get to decide on our thoughts. And based on those thoughts, we get to create actions and reactions.

Like most things, this isn’t a quick switch. And it can take a lot of practice. A lot of changing habits. And a bunch of self-reflection. You may not love what you see! But that’s a good time to put some work into drafting a new story…one that doesn’t have to speak of the negativity and anger and fear, but one that will tell of all the joy and love you have in your world.

13568792_10154351487106155_5145227840420678944_o

There are many ways to start drafting that story. One theme that has worked for me, and that I see threaded within other folks that I’ve been reading about, is gratitude and appreciation. Finding ways to incorporate these ideas into your thoughts will radically change your perspective and give you a new lens prescription. Tony Robbins says ‘Turn your expectations into appreciation and your whole life will change’. By appreciating the things you have, and the people you know, you continually tell yourself an enriching and fulfilling story. You frequently remind yourself of the good, and strip away a lot of the bad. And you find that you can fill your own bucket so to speak.

How to we start though, and how do we practice often? Some ideas that come to mind…1. Write in your journal every night or every morning 3 things that you’re grateful for. 2. Sit and think of a person you appreciate. Remember back to things that they’ve done or said that you loved, and just hold on to those thoughts for 10 minutes with your eyes closed. 3. Wish happiness on others. Simply choose a person. This can be someone you know, or even a stranger walking by. Take a deep breath, and wish for that person to be happy today. Do that for 3 people every day. 4. Write a handwritten thank you note to someone and snail mail it to them. Everyone has someone right now that they can thank for something. If you can’t think of a ‘thank you’, send a ‘You’re cool’ or ‘thinking of you’ card to someone…just letting them know that they’re in your thoughts and you love them! These may seem daunting to you at first, but honestly, these are very simple to execute. And the return on investment is outstanding…immeasurable.

Movie: Stranger than Fiction. Click here for a great clip from the movie. This is Will Ferrell in a serious role. He hears his life being narrated by an author, finds out about his ‘imminent death’, and must decide on what story to tell himself, and how to live…great connection to my post! I have the movie if you want to borrow it. And just like I said in my Reading List, I will barter for fine coffee and pastries! Joking…unless you have some.

Music: Gregory Alan Isakov. Soft acoustic. California. Song Writing. Emotions. Click here to listen…and love it.

how to pan for gold…in books though

Posted on February 9, 2018February 9, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

‘I’m wondering what to read next,’ Matilda said. ‘I’ve finished all the children’s books.’ – Roald Dahl

Music: I found this artist, Jose Gonzalez, while watching the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. This song fit into the film so nicely. It would be so cool to choose songs for a movie. Who gets to do that? Anyway, I highly recommend the movie and Jose’s music! Click here to listen while you read.

As I mentioned on my Reading List, there are some books that I just know…I don’t need the whole thing. I just want the small bits of gold that apply to me. I only use this technique for non-fiction works. Obviously, I want the entire story within a novel and don’t recommend ‘panning’ a piece of fiction.

In much of what I’ve found within non-fiction, an author does some great, focused research related to what they want to write. They then present it in a way that works for them. They also have to tell somewhat of a story with it…present it in a way that flows nicely for the reader…and usually attach some case studies (anecdotes about people applying the book’s theories). Sometimes, I can tell that I love everything about the idea and everything related. In that case, I take it all in.

What is she thinking? Where is she traveling?

On the other hand…and actually most of the time…I don’t want all the extra fluff. I take the author’s unspoken word that their idea works for the case studies presented. Just be careful with this, because they’re obviously not going to tell you stories when their information is arbitrary or ineffective. That would be counter-intuitive. I rely on myself though, to find the valuable nuggets of information, the ones that apply to me, and discern as to whether or not I agree or disagree with them. This usually takes me 10-15 minutes, which means I can ‘pan’ one book a day! Here’s what I do:

1. The first thing I do is read the title and author. Duh!

2. Then, I go in the back sleeve and find ‘about the author’. I like knowing the background information of the architect here. They might have been fed from a silver spoon…might have 5 kids…or none…might have run some marathons…might enjoy their gun collection…or live off the grid. What I also find here are websites related to their cause, or that they recommend.

3. Find the Table of Contents, look over it quickly to see what stands out to you, then dog ear the page. You might be returning to this page a bunch.

4. Get a blank piece of paper, or notebook, or journal…and a writing utensil. #2 Ticonderoga pencil is my go-to. That was a joke.

5. Here is where you start panning for gold! First, check the end of chapter 1 for a ‘review’ or ‘summary’ or ‘wrap up’. Some authors use this for each chapter, and it’s so helpful for us as gold panners. If so, simply jump to each one of these, and write anything down you feel you need. Here’s an example of a quick review from How to Talk to Anyone, by Leil Lowndes:

Since all of the gold had a grey background in this book, it was easy to spot. All the other writing was a longer hand version of this…and stories of when her friends tried this. Unnecessary!

You may find a piece of information that you want more of in that summary. If you do, just go back through the chapter quickly, looking for the terms that apply, and just take what you need.

If the chapters don’t have the summaries, you’ll have to work a little harder. But all you have to do is rotate your pan in the water, sifting and scanning for information relative to you. Most of the time there are bold letters, or headings that will help in your search.

Always use the dog-eared Table of Contents to keep you guided throughout, and as a reference for what to find… and where.

You may write down a lot. You may just write down 2 bullets of information…2 nuggets of gold. You may have a photographic memory and not have to write anything down. It’s up to you. Since my own memory is more bronze than gold, I do have to write something down. I also enjoy having a folder in my drawer where I keep my ‘sheets of gold’. I know that I can quickly go back and find what I wrote down…access the inspiring notes to keep me practicing a new habit…or find that author I liked to help me find that other book he or she wrote. Here is an example of one of my sheets of gold (from the book Raising a Self-Reliant Child by Alanna Levine):

I simply write the title and author on top, and then some notes below. My handwriting should tell you that I’m doing this fast. Hopefully, I can read it when I go back to it!

Here’s another one with less notes. It’s from the book 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans, by Karl Pillemer:

That’s it! Again, this takes 10-15 minutes, and you can pan a book a day! You’ll be rich before you know it. Think of all of the great research you can access…the great authors and innovative thinkers…the people who have failed and then found the most effective ways to succeed…the parents who know what works. You can use all of their blueprints. It’s very handy. By the way…I’ve spent a lot of money on education up to this point. I’m very happy I did, and I’ll probably continue to do more. However, all of this gold panning I’ve been doing…all of the ‘acquisition of knowledge’…has been totally free, from my public library! A guy I play basketball with told me, ‘that works just as good…all the greatest minds in history are right there on the shelf.’ Nicely put right? Thanks Matt!

This is your pass to free gold!

One last note…often I email the author, thanking them, and letting them know that their information was helpful. Sometimes their email address is in the ‘About the Author’ section. If not, some quick Googling can usually find it. I think they deserve the gratitude. I also see it as networking, and connecting with these folks I have a lot of respect for. You can consider them mentors in absentia…and think of them as part of your own Circle of Elephants that I mentioned in another blog post.

I’ve been surprised at the emails I get in return. Most of the time it’s a secretary or publicist that writes me back, telling me they’ll forward my message on. Sometimes though, the author writes back, happy to hear from a reader. And now you have a specialist in your contact list! Last week, I was happily exchanging emails with Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric. Someday, I might want to ask him a business question…and it’s fun to know that he might actually respond! I’m still waiting to hear from Warren Buffett.

Good luck in your journey finding and becoming gold!

Please follow me if you enjoyed this!

All love!