community – Page 3

en-tre-pre-neur

Posted on February 18, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

originally published on 5/12/17

‘the most dangerous thing you can do in life is play it safe’ – Casey Neistat

Sit down. Don’t talk. Raise your hand. Stay in line. Don’t be late. Quiet down. Put that away. Share. Read this. Watch that. You can eat now. Play like this. Don’t speak out. Settle down. Be prepared.

This is what our kids are told…time and time again. What must become slowly and steadily ingrained is the idea that they should all conform, follow the crowd, learn how everyone else does, choose a career, spend a lot of money to study within that field with a college education, find a company to work for, and work…so that you can afford things like a car and a house and a latte…then, they will be successful.

Are we introducing and exposing our children to enough entrepreneurial ideas to truly let them know about other options they may have? At Concord High School, I can remember one single unit within I believe an Economics class. Mr. Denoncourt worked so hard with us to help us pronounce the word en-tre-pre-neur. I said it wrong until college. I don’t remember a single thing from that unit we studied however…but I’m sure it was thorough in explaining the option for citizens to…yippee! start your own business! You could make and sell cookies with your mom, or you could design a t-shirt, and sell it out of the trunk of your car. I’m sure the text book detailed some of the easier fields to enter as a business starter, like construction, landscaping, or dog walking. I’m sure one of the bolded subject headings was ‘be your own boss’, and we probably discussed as a class the pros and cons to running your own company. Mr Denoncourt was genuine in his efforts, I am sure. But all I remember is äntrəprəˈnər.

Considering the loyalty once involved in working for a company, and the lack of commitment and loyalty in present times, we owe it to our kids to expose them to more. One unit is not enough. I’m sure there was more within my high school curriculum and I just missed it…I was in a fog most of the time. But I know there wasn’t enough.

Years ago, one could be very secure in choosing a company to work for, sticking with that job for many years, and then retiring with a good sized pension to ride off into the sunset with. It is not the same today. It’s predicted that our youngest workers will hold around 12-15 jobs in their lifetime. It’s also commonly noted that the average worker will make 5-7 career changes during there career. It is simply a very different workplace.

Speak out. Hustle. Grind. Don’t sleep. Find a loophole. Challenge authority. Follow your gut. The time is right now. Make your own line to stand in. You are creative. Develop grit. Ask more questions. Better questions. Come up with ideas. More than that. Start something now. Take the risk. Don’t seek comfort. Don’t listen to me. Do whatever the #%@$ you want to do, whenever the #%@$ you want to do it.

What if these were some ideas we showered our kids with? That’s it…I’m starting a school, and the paragraph above will serve as the uncommon core curriculum. The mission statement will have to be, ‘do whatever the #%@$ you want to do, whenever the #%@$ you want to do it’. When I step back and think, that phrase can simply define success like no other. Children and adults alike could find so much happiness and success by first searching, finding, discovering, and identifying their own passions and loves…and then working, playing, and living within those areas as much as possible. I’m not sure our schools, our communities, our parents, our culture is set up for that.

I want my daughter Matilda to know that there are many paths. And that she has many choices. She’ll be able to pronounce entrepreneur this year. I’m going to introduce her to my uncommon curriculum…though I might leave out the do whatever you want part for now. I’m still figuring this parenting thing out. She will though, be able to dream something up, take a risk, and even fail, knowing that she’ll have help to get up and find a different way.

In the short term, we’re starting a small farm stand called The Grower’s Daughter. Matilda is very excited about this. She’ll be selling some plants we started from seed, some breads that we made, cookies, vegetables and honey in the Fall, and whatever else comes to mind. The Grand Opening is tomorrow from 11-1pm at our house…so please stop by to say hello! I’m hoping that this new adventure will play a small part in helping her develop some skills, passion, and even some hustle.

Music: Here is a beautiful song called Cherry Wine by Hozier. It actually raised awareness and funds for domestic violence. Enjoy!

born and raised

Posted on February 8, 2018February 8, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

‘When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence’ – Thich Nhat Hanh

Music: I would say Justin Vernon is somewhat of a musical genius. His band, Bon Iver, is pretty special. Click HERE to listen while you read!

What does it take to raise our children properly? And when are they ‘raised’? How can we measure what we’ve done…what they’ve done…and decide if they’ve grown up, succeeded…if we’ve succeeded as parents?

I think about this a lot. And I’m always trying to gather answers from books (just finished ‘Duct Tape Parenting, and I loved ‘Parenting without Borders’…check my reading list HERE), and other parents, and family. Parenting is unique and intriguing. We’re all just trying to do what we think is best, and use what we believe to be, the most effective strategies in order to prepare our children for the future. Do we employ methods our parents used that proved to help us, and that left us with happy memories? Do we fall into inevitable patterns and behaviors that we swore to ourselves we’d never practice?

With the fact that I’m only 4 years into parenting, new experiences, and questions, and trial and error, have been frequently arising. It’s forced me (or allowed me) to strengthen my opinions regarding methods, search deeper for more understanding, and laugh when I catch myself thinking I’ve figured it all out. I have figured out a little actually, and have gathered some ideas I believe in:

Circle of Elephants

Our children do best with a strong support structure around them. We as parents can fulfill the immediate needs of our kids. But we can’t do it all. This is the ‘it takes a village’ idea. There are so many obstacles and challenges in our children’s future. There are many hyenas trying to get at our baby elephants. Our community is where we can find and select our other elephants that will create a circle around our calf.

Matilda with her Aunt McCall

We should look to our relatives, our friends, our schools, our neighbors, our church, our coaches and others that we trust to be part of our network. I think this is such a healthy way to ‘use’ people. And immediately that term brings up a host of negative connotations. However, along with a love, companionship, trust, and reverence we have for these folks around us, we can also simply appreciate that they all offer wonderful and diverse perspectives, beneficial for raising our kids. If this is a consideration of yours, you’ll be able to ‘use’ their help. And especially as the children grow older, they’ll hopefully see some individuals in the circle as mentors, and will be able to access them on their own.

Math

There are 168 hours in a week. How much time did you spend last week in the immediate presence of your child? I mention ‘immediate presence’ because I feel strongly about our proximity, and accessibility, and availability to our children. We can’t be home, but removed. Nearby but inaccessible. And we can’t just rely on our Circle of Elephants, before we’ve created a strong, healthy pack at home.

Matilda’s seedlings are fragile but resilient

My daughter, Matilda was born prematurely, and needed to stay at the hospital for a month or so. Fortunately, the hospital she was delivered in (Catholic Medical Center), was practicing ‘couplet care’. This is an evidence based best practice in maternity care, encouraging the mother and baby to be as close and together as much as possible during their stay. I’m guessing the research and evidence with Dads is lacking…I don’t see much. And from my perspective as a single Dad, I’m starting to notice more discrepancies and cultural norms and interesting gender roles like that still present in today’s world. With that said, I still attempted to be as close to Matilda as possible, for as much time as possible…even so close as practicing ‘skin-to-skin’ contact when able, in order to strengthen our bond and concentrate on that connection.

Maybe we could consider Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hour rule, in which he proposes that we need to practice something for 10,000 hours in order to achieve mastery. Maybe if we are around our children for that many hours…they will be ‘raised’! You see, I try to think of standard time with our children as addition. Just add up the hours. However, I believe in somewhat of a multiplier option. The closer you are to your children…the more multiplication is happening. Some might see this as ‘attachment parenting’. And by the way, the definitions for that mostly speak of a closeness for mother and child…doesn’t mention as much on Dads…there’s something wrong with that!

Anyhow, during the earlier stages of the child’s life, it’s even more exponential. I think we can make a single hour become 1.1 or 1.2 hours with this practice. Another way to multiply is to think of the intensity of the experience

together. This can be emotionally or physically. Think about if you went rock climbing with your child for an hour…and compare that to playing Angry Birds with them for an hour. This significance of the experience is multiplied on out. Be careful though, a once-a-month movie date does not compete with 30 days of dinner at the table together. It doesn’t add up.

If we are around our kids for an hour before school, and lets say three hours after…is that enough? 4 hours in a given day? Let’s also say we spend more time with them on the weekend…maybe 10 hours per day. So 20 hours on a weekend, and 20 total during the week. That’s 40 hours out of the 168 available. This is obviously a very general estimate…maybe way low or way high for you. But I would guess it’s close to average. Is it enough? Is that enough time for us to reach our goals as parents? Is it enough to raise our kids properly?

This, for me, brings in the question of schools or daycare. If a child is on the bus, at school/daycare, attending an after school activity for 8 hours a day/ 40 hours a week…that’s the same amount of time that we are spending on them…investing in them ourselves. It must be stated that we are placing a huge responsibility…an immense pressure…on those institutions we send our children to. At the same time, we as parents are holding a tremendous amount of trust and faith in these people and places.

Matilda made this at her pre-school.

I’ve been to school. I’ve found amazing teachers and mentors. I’ve had some bad ones. Some helped me overcome obstacles, and challenged me, and helped me grow. Some seemed out to lunch, cold, unavailable. I’ve also taught high school English, and held other positions at schools. I wonder if I was ever ‘out to lunch’. Oh no! There were definitely moments when I was! Sorry kids. And parents. I only say this because I’m not sure we think enough about how our kids time is spent, if our teachers are amazing…incentivized and rewarded to be such, if the administration allows that. “It’s a good school district,” is what I hear from many parents…but I often wonder where that came from and if they truly know what’s happening for the 40 hours a week…if their situation is truly the best use of that time. It’s such a hard question. And what are our options? Moving, private schooling, homeschooling, unschooling? Maybe it’s as simple as having that conversation with the teacher that you’ve been meaning to have. I think these are all worth exploring.

What are your best tips for parenting? What are the books or films that have helped you the most? Do you have a circle of elephants? Please comment, share, post, and follow if you like!

All love!

sandwiches and kids

Posted on January 22, 2018January 22, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

Jimmy 12

‘modeling good behavior has 10x the influence of all that talking, the kids are watching’

How do we make good behaviors stick with our children? I’ve been ‘head down’ focused on this a lot lately. I have a 4 year old. There are constantly new behaviors bubbling up…good and bad. I’m doing my best to be really aware…noticing what’s working, and what’s not on the parenting front.

Model. First and foremost, I’ll say that I continue to be amazed at how much my daughter notices my behavior…and how important it is for me to model the good stuff. All the research backs this up as well. Your child is watching what you do more than listening to what you say.

To me, it seems that modeling good behavior has 10x the influence of all that talking.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m communicating and explaining and clarifying all the time. It’s just that the old adage, ‘actions speak louder than words’ is the truth. We can’t tell our child to walk away from a fight if they watch us bump chests and instigate.

Honey over Vinegar. When we do talk, it’s so important to focus on our children’s strengths…not their weaknesses. All too often, parents are hounding on the mistakes, over-talking the accidents, and holding their child back from their full potential. For the most part, once an individual knows that a mistake was made, and the message to ‘try not to do that again’ is conveyed…all the extra, negative reinforcement is just that. Obviously, each situation is unique, and the severity of the behavior needs to be considered. For the everyday ‘small stuff’ though, keep the glass half full.

Focusing on the good behaviors, has such a refreshing and compounding effect. By taking the extra time to really look your child in the eyeballs, and tell them again how kind and caring that desired behavior was, you’ll continue to invite more of it.

Last week, my daughter exhibited some really good awareness and empathy surrounding a best friend that was having some trouble. She actually asked a separate friend to run and get something that would help the situation…then, they all figured it out together. I was so happy and proud about this, and almost couldn’t believe that my 4 year old constructed this. But instead of just thinking about this, or telling my peers, I’ve deliberately paused with Matilda, grabbed her attention, looked her in the eye, and explained how and why that was such a great thing for her to do. I’ve actually done it twice to really let her know that this is the good stuff.

Sandwiching. While focusing on the strengths and good behaviors, we can really make it stick by ‘sandwiching’ the experience with pre-teaching and reflection. Before our child is exposed to something, it’s good to get a bug in their ear first. This can give that little message that, ‘oh…dad told me that this might happen.’ It doesn’t necessarily mean that our child won’t make a mistake. In fact, we actually want them to make the mistake…it will help expedite the learning process and mitigate the effect of the ego. Yes! I used ‘expedite’ and ‘mitigate’ in the same sentence! So rewarding.

Our pre-teaching is also a trust-building practice, illustrating to our children that we do know a little something, and have been around the block a few times.

Now, this behavior that took place with my daughter wasn’t something that I necessarily could have planned for. I mean, I do talk about empathy and kindness with her, but the actual details of the event were too particular to pre-teach. I have to give myself some credit though, in that I have put effort into conversations surrounding helping others, and why that matters.

I think parents are too hard on themselves. I think they need to realize that they are much more than the sum of their parts.

With a more typical experience approaching in the future, parents can really hone in on the related behaviors.

If a best friend is coming over for a play date, we can relay the message to our child that the friend will want to use all of the toys. Sharing is going to come up. Let’s do that…huh?

Then, as we all know, our child will rip something from their besties’ innocent little paws. Crying and arguing may commence…and we should really do our best to let this play out…to see what kind of results are reached…to allow problems to be solved. This is the socialization that we’re hoping for. And boy, will these same issues come up more and more as they age. Let them work it out if possible! It’s ok if feelings get hurt…we learn a lot when we find ourselves in unwanted emotional states. Again, this is within reason.

Remember though, we have to use the ‘reflection’ piece after the experience takes place. This can’t be while your kid is on the tablet, or watching a show It can’t be during the actual argument that they just had with their friend either. This is best done after some time has passed, once the friend has gone home…or during a break in the action.

Eye contact is key. Deliberate, honest words presented with love and care. Not judgment and belittlement. Think support and education and growth…not placement and insults and punishment.

There can be an ‘I told you so’ aspect to this reflection piece, because you actually did tell them so in the pre-teaching phase…ugh, the nerve! As much as you may want to use this…don’t. The lesson will naturally come to them through your discussion of what transpired. This reflection can build trust as well, depending on how you handle it. Let it be positive, bucket filling, and hold good karma. It’s not measurable, and it may return in unforeseen manifestations…but boy, does it matter.

Remember, after all this talking to your kid about the practice of letting others use their stuff, your child will be 10x more influenced by how you yourself actually share and help others.

How are you doing with that?

All love!

Jimmy Thorpe

emailsig

In response to Case #4-18 Concord, NH

Posted on January 5, 2018January 5, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

I love the idea of renewable energy, whether it be solar, wind, geothermal, and the rest. I pride myself on being mindful and respecting the resources available to me, my property, and the land in my close proximity. But when I read a letter from my municipal zoning board of adjustment notifying me that a privately owned solar facility is requesting variances to allow a 54 acre, 10-mega-watt solar farm directly across the street form my house, I knew I had some thinking to do.

When I purchased my property and house, what drew me to it most was the expansive and open feel to the entire dead-end street that it rests on. The (RO) Residential Open Space District is exactly what I was looking for, and I purchased with that in mind. I made a choice. By disregarding the current zoning and bylaws, my choice would be taken away. A change to the variances surrounding me will fundamentally shift my experience with the land and the property I fell in love with. I cherish where I live and do not want to leave. Ironically though, if I did want to up and leave to find a new place, I’d be hard pressed to find someone who wants to live within a commercial/industrial setting, with 54 acres of solar panels as the view from their front porch. The value of the surrounding properties (financial, emotional, intrinsic, etc.) will certainly be reduced because of this project.

The variance that concerns lot coverage within a Residential Open area specifies no more than a 10% coverage of the lot…this is for good reason. If we consider the entire drip edge of the solar panels, that 10% coverage is far exceeded. And by the way…we must consider the entire drip edge. With this in mind, the natural sunlight will not be able to reach the ground underneath the panels. The rain that falls won’t find a natural and even broadcast to the land…it will now be directed to the lowest slope of each panel, resulting in erosion of the land…land that is, by the way, already considered a flood plain for the Merrimack River. Directly across the street from my house, on the proposed land, there is a 10-15 foot drop into the flood plain. The idea of a commercial installation of solar panels, regardless of how green the resulting energy remains, is undermining the natural shaping and shifting our land and waterways (in accordance with each other) have been slowly making over thousands of years. Let us not take this lightly.

Concord, NH is so unique…in that it offers an attractive and vibrant downtown setting in balance with beautiful, open and expansive rural outskirts. Many Concord citizens have been stunned visiting my property, stating, ‘I never knew this was in Concord. This land is amazing! It’s so quiet and natural here.’ An unattractive, industrial eyesore, changes the entire face of the landscape on this pastoral, agricultural, and residential road. Therefore, the view and perspective of Concord citizens changes. We won’t be happy with what we see, and conditionally, how we treat our town…how we speak to others about it.

I have a 4 year old daughter…Matilda. She is everything to me. She and I use our quiet, dead-end road daily…to pull sleds on, ride bikes, and walk the dog. Our natural behaviors such as these will unfortunately change with such a drastic change to our setting. More importantly, as our house sits close to the road, we would be spending a majority of our day within 100 feet of this 10-megawatt solar farm. I can not allow my daughter to be exposed to the electromagnetic energy surrounding a massive industrial installation like this. On top of that, the radiation generated by the conversion of energy is not something I’m willing to let us be so close to. There have not been long term studies and research done related to humans living in such close proximity to such immense and concentrated solar energy systems like this. I won’t be able to sleep at night, knowing I allowed Matilda (a 4 year old, still in the early stages of development) and I to be the guinea pigs of such exposure. ‘Matilda? This is Dad telling you I love you more than anything. I want nothing but good health and opportunities for you. And I’m doing my best to allow for that…and protect us from this project!’ Should I plan on recording our day-to-day health, writing down any symptoms that we notice in the future, and wonder if they’re related to concentrated energy fields in close proximity to our home? No, as a Concord resident and taxpayer, no…as a mindful father…no, I shouldn’t have to worry about that. I truly hope you board members, you…that will be deciding the future of this case…will try to grasp onto, and understand the scope of what I just said.

As I stated at the onset, I believe in green energy. This municipality should be considering long-term, sustainable ways to make progress within our town, and allow for the safest and most fulfilling civic engagement and appreciation possible. This proposed case…this enormous and imposing, 54 acre, 10-megawatt, industrial installation falls far short of that delineation.

Thank you for your consideration!

small business shout-out 003 – Lucky’s

Posted on December 30, 2017December 30, 2017 by jimmy thorpe

Small business Shout-out is a project I’m developing in order to promote valuable businesses in New Hampshire. I’ve recognized that good products and services can often be difficult to find. I’ve also noticed some great local businesses that aren’t being taken advantage of…and that maybe folks aren’t aware of. I’ll be spreading the word about these companies in hopes that others can find value there.

Episode 003 – Lucky’s Barbershop and Shave Parlor

luckys

Craft, nostalgia, self-improvement, legacy, dignity, progression, acceptance. These are some words that come to mind when I think of the work going on at Lucky’s barbershop. I really appreciate that it feels like there is a general respect for everyone that walks into this shop. What comes with that, is a sense of comfort for the customer.

Along with that comfort is a sense of escapism. Lucky’s feels like a different world than what’s going on outside. It has it’s own pace and rhythms. And for the time you’re there, you can disconnect from you’re daily concerns…all while you’re appearance is being improved. Ironically, while letting go of your own affairs for your time in the chair, you’re allowed to be part of a concentrated hub within the community. The conversations here are fascinating.

And lastly, each and every one of the barbers here is dedicated to his craft. They all work hard, listen well, and ask with intention, ‘does this look ok to you?’ It’s truly a team of interesting and intellectual characters – all focused on their meaningful work.

I asked Josh Craggy (Lucky’s owner) some questions about the business. Here is that interaction:

jimmy – How/why did you get into barbering?

Josh – I guess I can say that barbering found me. At the age of 12, while paying a visit to the barber with my father, we ended up leaving because there was such a long wait time that morning. Later that afternoon, with some ‘gentle’ persuasion, I gave my old man my first haircut with a pair of clippers. 26 years later, I still enjoy cutting his hair…as well as anyone else that allows me the opportunity.

jimmy – Barbering seems blue-collar, but the aprons, and your attire look more white-collar. Which is it?

Josh – There is no class involved when it comes to hair. It has no identity, no gender. It does not know who it belongs to, and can be worn in any style…by anyone…anywhere…at any time. That’s how I’ve always viewed it. And it’s also related to how I try to treat everyone.

jimmy – What is something you’ve learned from someone in your barber chair?

Josh – I’ve learned how to listen. We need to listen to folks in the chair, to the people in our homes, to our neighbors, to our communities, and especially to ourselves. I’ve also come to understand more about patience, how to be objective, why passion is important, and the significance of taking responsibility for your actions. On top of that, I try to learn from my mistakes.

jimmy – Well said! Thank you so much for your time Josh…and for continuing to run a great business in our community!

Folks, please do yourself a favor and visit Lucky’s for your next haircut or shave. Here are some places to find them on the web:

-Website-

-Facebook Page-

-Instagram-