society – Page 4

en-tre-pre-neur

Posted on February 18, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

originally published on 5/12/17

‘the most dangerous thing you can do in life is play it safe’ – Casey Neistat

Sit down. Don’t talk. Raise your hand. Stay in line. Don’t be late. Quiet down. Put that away. Share. Read this. Watch that. You can eat now. Play like this. Don’t speak out. Settle down. Be prepared.

This is what our kids are told…time and time again. What must become slowly and steadily ingrained is the idea that they should all conform, follow the crowd, learn how everyone else does, choose a career, spend a lot of money to study within that field with a college education, find a company to work for, and work…so that you can afford things like a car and a house and a latte…then, they will be successful.

Are we introducing and exposing our children to enough entrepreneurial ideas to truly let them know about other options they may have? At Concord High School, I can remember one single unit within I believe an Economics class. Mr. Denoncourt worked so hard with us to help us pronounce the word en-tre-pre-neur. I said it wrong until college. I don’t remember a single thing from that unit we studied however…but I’m sure it was thorough in explaining the option for citizens to…yippee! start your own business! You could make and sell cookies with your mom, or you could design a t-shirt, and sell it out of the trunk of your car. I’m sure the text book detailed some of the easier fields to enter as a business starter, like construction, landscaping, or dog walking. I’m sure one of the bolded subject headings was ‘be your own boss’, and we probably discussed as a class the pros and cons to running your own company. Mr Denoncourt was genuine in his efforts, I am sure. But all I remember is äntrəprəˈnər.

Considering the loyalty once involved in working for a company, and the lack of commitment and loyalty in present times, we owe it to our kids to expose them to more. One unit is not enough. I’m sure there was more within my high school curriculum and I just missed it…I was in a fog most of the time. But I know there wasn’t enough.

Years ago, one could be very secure in choosing a company to work for, sticking with that job for many years, and then retiring with a good sized pension to ride off into the sunset with. It is not the same today. It’s predicted that our youngest workers will hold around 12-15 jobs in their lifetime. It’s also commonly noted that the average worker will make 5-7 career changes during there career. It is simply a very different workplace.

Speak out. Hustle. Grind. Don’t sleep. Find a loophole. Challenge authority. Follow your gut. The time is right now. Make your own line to stand in. You are creative. Develop grit. Ask more questions. Better questions. Come up with ideas. More than that. Start something now. Take the risk. Don’t seek comfort. Don’t listen to me. Do whatever the #%@$ you want to do, whenever the #%@$ you want to do it.

What if these were some ideas we showered our kids with? That’s it…I’m starting a school, and the paragraph above will serve as the uncommon core curriculum. The mission statement will have to be, ‘do whatever the #%@$ you want to do, whenever the #%@$ you want to do it’. When I step back and think, that phrase can simply define success like no other. Children and adults alike could find so much happiness and success by first searching, finding, discovering, and identifying their own passions and loves…and then working, playing, and living within those areas as much as possible. I’m not sure our schools, our communities, our parents, our culture is set up for that.

I want my daughter Matilda to know that there are many paths. And that she has many choices. She’ll be able to pronounce entrepreneur this year. I’m going to introduce her to my uncommon curriculum…though I might leave out the do whatever you want part for now. I’m still figuring this parenting thing out. She will though, be able to dream something up, take a risk, and even fail, knowing that she’ll have help to get up and find a different way.

In the short term, we’re starting a small farm stand called The Grower’s Daughter. Matilda is very excited about this. She’ll be selling some plants we started from seed, some breads that we made, cookies, vegetables and honey in the Fall, and whatever else comes to mind. The Grand Opening is tomorrow from 11-1pm at our house…so please stop by to say hello! I’m hoping that this new adventure will play a small part in helping her develop some skills, passion, and even some hustle.

Music: Here is a beautiful song called Cherry Wine by Hozier. It actually raised awareness and funds for domestic violence. Enjoy!

r.o.i.

Posted on February 16, 2018February 16, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

‘rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth’ – Thoreau

Return on Investment: A performance measure used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment.

I am always focusing on this word ‘efficiency’. Always considering methods that will streamline, or make things most economical. And while these thoughts are on my mind while sitting in the Edward Jones office, preparing to discuss my financial investment portfolio (saying that you have an investment portfolio sounds so pretentious!), I’m writing today and thinking about how this philosophy applies to other aspects of our daily lives.

We have a finite amount of time to be alive. There are so many things I want to do! I feel if I don’t somehow multiply or compound my interest and interests, I simply won’t be living to my potential…won’t be able to reach all of my goals…and won’t be able to have a complete, fulfilling, and successful day.

Considering all of the chaos and stress and fast pace of our lives, this sounds messy, and cramming, and overwhelming. You may be thinking, ‘Right…there aren’t enough hours within a day!’ And you may be ‘burning the wick at both ends’ as they say, and feeling like there’s no catching up. How could you even consider adding new items to your plate, or reaching for new heights on your success ladder. Well, it’s always wise to consider your r.o.i. first. And practicing mindfulness throughout will keep you balanced.

speak the truth

As I age, I find myself searching for the absolute honest truth within things…good or bad…just let me see what’s real. My skin is thicker now. The insecurities mitigated. I really don’t care about a lot of nonsense that once consumed me…and that frees up a lot of space to accept truth.

One great truth always being spoken to us is our health. At Thanksgiving, when we would go around the table and say what we were thankful for, some aunt or cousin, or niece’s boyfriend would always say they’re thankful for good health. That not even a thing! It doesn’t mean anything. It’s an arbitrary, general statement used to quickly get on to the next relative. That is what I thought anyway. When you, or someone close to you becomes unhealthy, injured, or simply older and aware of new limitations…you quickly understand the fortune of good health. Turns out, it is a thing.

That is why things like exercise and diet have such great returns on investments! They are honest and effective formulas leading to good health. If you jump into an intense training program and very strict diet tomorrow, the benefits and rewards of doing so will be amazing! It’s a very simple formula. Aha! But it’s very hard work to implement and maintain. Otherwise, we’d all be doing it.

I absolutely love the sport of basketball. It has given me returns that I never expected…introduced me to so many people that I cherish…allowed me to experience passion and fun and competition and challenge…and time and time again, it has been so very honest with me. I think this is what I now appreciate most about it. ‘You get out what you put in’, is a phrase that comes to mind. I had ‘practiced’ and ‘played’ the sport from time to 006 time, but it wasn’t until I completely focused and dedicated myself to hours of tailored training, that I came to understand what came from hard work, and how to truly invest in something for myself. At one point, during the start of my college basketball career (you can read some more about this time here…on my ‘my story’ page), I decided to, on top of a bunch of strenuous training sessions, shoot 300 three pointers a day. Along with that, the coach asked each player to shoot 100 free throws a day. I think one other player and I were the only two that did this no excuses…7 days a week. This training…the consistent repetition of movements…the culture that came with always being near a basketball and a hoop…the camaraderie gained grinding out work with others…and the grit earned by winning hard fought physical battles on my own…instilled something in me that I hold dearly to this day. The actual shooting itself became somewhat automatic for me. Three pointers felt like free throws. Free throws felt like layups. I could feel a difference. And I was proud of my investment.

Basketball is where I found this. But you can find this honest earning of truth within a lot of activities. Learning how to play guitar is where I’ve found it most recently.

shopping cart 🛒

I don’t buy as many things as I used to. I scrutinize purchases now to no end. I sit and ruminate on whether or not I really need this item…really want it. I totally consider the r.o.i. that this item will bring me over time. Is this going to be trendy to me? Will I love it in 5 years? Can I use it for 2 years, and sell it for what I buy it for? I highly recommend doing this for any big ticket items you’re considering. Also remember, buying an ‘experience’ over a tangible item is more likely to be fulfilling. In this way, money can buy happiness. I still like buying ‘things’ here and there though. Here are some things I put in my shopping cart over the last couple of years:

road bicycle
electric guitar
trip to Disney
log splitter (for firewood)
brick and stone walkway
drone
motorcycle

proximity

Who are the people around you most? Are you investing in those that you appreciate and love? One of the most effective ways to find long term happiness is through your relationships with friends and family. It starts with you though. I’ve mentioned this before…’turn your expectations into appreciation’ is what Tony Robbins says, and it totally applies to all relationships. How do you keep yourself around the people you want to be around? One simple way to start is to get rid of the folks you don’t want to be around. We often have some people in our lives that empty our bucket. They are depleting. They take and don’t give back. And they are unhealthy for us. Life is too short. Value your time more, and stop spending it on folks like this. Once your standard is set, you’ll start noticing more bucket filling folks in your proximity.

Music: Ryan Adams continues to be very inspiring for me. Here’s a great song with just him and his piano.

I’d so appreciate it if you liked, subscribed, shared…really showed love in any way.

All love!

gamble on a school night

Posted on February 15, 2018February 15, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

‘a ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for’ – William Shedd

Spontaneity. It was 1998. I was a senior in high school, and it was a school night. I was sleeping over my friends house though, and two other guys were staying over too. My host-friend suggests that because his mom is asleep (must have been 9 or 10pm), we should take her car and drive to Foxwoods Casino. We can have the car back before she wakes up, and even make it to school first thing in morning.

I was never spontaneous. I’d say I was nervous, shy, scared of the unknown, and therefore calculated and somewhat structured in my ways. When this journey to Connecticut from Concord, NH was brought up, I probably started asking, ‘well ok, how long does it take to get there? Do we all have enough money? How old do you have to be to enter a Casino…to gamble? What classes do we have in the morning, and what time do we have to be back…exactly? And that means we’ll have to leave Foxwoods to return at blah blah blah. I can see my friend smirking now…and telling me that none of that matters. We’re just going.

Somehow we actually did make it to Foxwoods and started gambling. When we were huddled around my friend at one of the tables as he was doing well, we noticed security guards in nice suits approaching. They split us up and asked us questions. Mostly about our age or birth dates. Then they told my friend to cash out on his winnings, and told us all to get lost. We got home in time to quietly push the car back into my friend’s garage, and sneak into his room as though we’d been there all night. His mom had to know. But she never showed it. We went to school on maybe a half hour of sleep. But the stories and excitement were enough to make that next day, one of the best days of my high school career. Today, as I did that day, I can reflect on the awesome feelings of freedom, bravery, risk, adrenaline, and a sense of brotherly love that this experience created for me.

I wish I figured out then that spontaneity was special. It was part of that experience. It was central to it, and key to the everlasting memory it solidified within me. I wasn’t at all self-aware then though. I probably couldn’t pronounce spontaneity. And even though I was easily influenced by others and did have fun doing crazy things in the following years, I never embraced the idea of improvising in my life. I needed a script.

A couple of weeks ago, I quickly grabbed a couple of snacks, some wipes, my new cheap and obnoxious mirror lens sunglasses, and Matilda, and hopped in the car without knowing where we were going. I know…you probably do this like every weekend. But I couldn’t think back to when I had last done it. Kind of made me sad. Anyway, I still live in Concord, NH. And what I love about my geographic location is that all within about one hour away…I can drive North to the White mountains, east to the ocean, or south to the city of Boston. All great options. Matilda asked where we were going. ‘I don’t know Til…we’re just going on an adventure…and we get to choose where we go.’ I told her that I was now leaning toward Portsmouth over on the coast, but then I remembered those fun books I used to read and I told her this is called ‘choose your own adventure…and you get to choose!’ She said she didn’t really want to go to Portsmouth, and wanted to go to Mother and Child, a pretty hip consignment shop in Amherst that her mom had brought her to. So that was it! We found a cool dress for her, played hide and seek in all the clothes, and upset one of the old employees who thought we were being too loud. It wasn’t Foxwoods. It was incredibly fun though. Matilda was able to choose it. And that morning, I never would have guessed that this experience would have been in my future.

I noticed a huge change within myself after having a child. Matilda has helped me learn so many great things…one of them being the ability to ’embrace spontaneity’. Children often live in the moment. Not reflecting on previous behaviors. Not planning out the steps to our future. Simply enjoying this moment. They make quick, thoughtless decisions based on passion, desire, love. They often don’t know the consequences of making the wrong choice, choosing the wrong person, wearing the miscalculated dress, or chomping on Nerds candy instead of an organic apple.

Don’t let fear get in the way of being spontaneous. Embrace the risk involved. Acknowledge an uncomfortable feeling, but let yourself be ok there…and remember how much you can learn there. About yourself and others. Go on more ‘choose your own adventures’, let your kid choose their own outfit and then splash in the puddles, jump on the bed with them, and eat lots more Nerds.

music: One of the best guitar players in the world. Prolific writer. Pop, electric, or acoustic. Every album is good…including his new ‘The Search for Everything’. John Mayer. Click here and check this out!

37

Posted on February 2, 2018February 2, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

originally published on February 24, 2017.

‘With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come’ -Shakespeare

Today is my birthday. I am 37 years old. Let me repeat so that it I can let it sink in some more…Today, I am 37 years old.

I’m writing today, simply because I feel the urge to. I have been feeling this for a while now. It has led me to write some songs, put notes down in journals, and to create many ‘ideas’ in my head. These ideas are simple thoughts and concepts…every day occurrences that linger longer than I would expect. Maybe they are experiences that I initially feel are unique. But over time I realize they are somewhat arbitrary, probably common, but intriguing to me nonetheless. They seem to be connective in nature, and hopefully beneficial for myself and others to reflect on.

You see, as the numbers in the label of my age get higher in value (and as my mom always say’s, I still feel very young) something has crept in. It’s a subtle and slow effect happening, a compounding of occurrences, a collection of pictures or songs in my head, a thread of themes being woven, and a group of people in the mass that I’ve been lucky to meet.

Every so often, a moment arises when I think, oh…that’s why that person came into my life…and that’s why I read that book then…and that song is attached to that memory…that is why I had to struggle and find hardship there…and that person was beautiful, but couldn’t remain in my life…and I’m grateful for that…and around that time, I found those amazing coconut macaroons at that hip coffee shop with all those great smells!

Breathe.

Reflecting on all of this, I’m so proud to have this awareness and acceptance. And I’ve found it through others. Every person I’ve met…I can think back to something they’ve said, or a look they gave, or even a harsh reality they presented that I didn’t appreciate at the time. Today, I’m saying thank you for all of that.

More recently, I’ve been reading a lot. Everyone should do this. It’s strengthened the webs that were formed in my life – into cables that can’t be broke (referring to the old Spanish proverb that applies to habits). I appreciate all of the writers, and then all of the musicians, artists, and other ‘creators’ for the bravery of putting it out there…for letting it go…letting it be ‘ours’…and for sharing what was once only yours.

At this moment, I am not entirely sure why I’m sharing this small piece of writing. In a way, it feels a bit presumptuous. And who am I to share what was once only a tide of mine? This is where I respect that bravery of what others have done.

On the other hand, today is my birthday, an anniversary of the day I was born…the day my collection began, and the day the first webs began to spool in and out.

I am so entirely sure of why I’m sharing this!

Everything and everyone in my life up to this moment has led me to this. It’s not on me…it’s on you!

So thank you.

Make sure to be aware of your ‘threads’…your webs…your coconut macaroons.

I’ve found it to be…tasty.

james

sandwiches and kids

Posted on January 22, 2018January 22, 2018 by jimmy thorpe

Jimmy 12

‘modeling good behavior has 10x the influence of all that talking, the kids are watching’

How do we make good behaviors stick with our children? I’ve been ‘head down’ focused on this a lot lately. I have a 4 year old. There are constantly new behaviors bubbling up…good and bad. I’m doing my best to be really aware…noticing what’s working, and what’s not on the parenting front.

Model. First and foremost, I’ll say that I continue to be amazed at how much my daughter notices my behavior…and how important it is for me to model the good stuff. All the research backs this up as well. Your child is watching what you do more than listening to what you say.

To me, it seems that modeling good behavior has 10x the influence of all that talking.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m communicating and explaining and clarifying all the time. It’s just that the old adage, ‘actions speak louder than words’ is the truth. We can’t tell our child to walk away from a fight if they watch us bump chests and instigate.

Honey over Vinegar. When we do talk, it’s so important to focus on our children’s strengths…not their weaknesses. All too often, parents are hounding on the mistakes, over-talking the accidents, and holding their child back from their full potential. For the most part, once an individual knows that a mistake was made, and the message to ‘try not to do that again’ is conveyed…all the extra, negative reinforcement is just that. Obviously, each situation is unique, and the severity of the behavior needs to be considered. For the everyday ‘small stuff’ though, keep the glass half full.

Focusing on the good behaviors, has such a refreshing and compounding effect. By taking the extra time to really look your child in the eyeballs, and tell them again how kind and caring that desired behavior was, you’ll continue to invite more of it.

Last week, my daughter exhibited some really good awareness and empathy surrounding a best friend that was having some trouble. She actually asked a separate friend to run and get something that would help the situation…then, they all figured it out together. I was so happy and proud about this, and almost couldn’t believe that my 4 year old constructed this. But instead of just thinking about this, or telling my peers, I’ve deliberately paused with Matilda, grabbed her attention, looked her in the eye, and explained how and why that was such a great thing for her to do. I’ve actually done it twice to really let her know that this is the good stuff.

Sandwiching. While focusing on the strengths and good behaviors, we can really make it stick by ‘sandwiching’ the experience with pre-teaching and reflection. Before our child is exposed to something, it’s good to get a bug in their ear first. This can give that little message that, ‘oh…dad told me that this might happen.’ It doesn’t necessarily mean that our child won’t make a mistake. In fact, we actually want them to make the mistake…it will help expedite the learning process and mitigate the effect of the ego. Yes! I used ‘expedite’ and ‘mitigate’ in the same sentence! So rewarding.

Our pre-teaching is also a trust-building practice, illustrating to our children that we do know a little something, and have been around the block a few times.

Now, this behavior that took place with my daughter wasn’t something that I necessarily could have planned for. I mean, I do talk about empathy and kindness with her, but the actual details of the event were too particular to pre-teach. I have to give myself some credit though, in that I have put effort into conversations surrounding helping others, and why that matters.

I think parents are too hard on themselves. I think they need to realize that they are much more than the sum of their parts.

With a more typical experience approaching in the future, parents can really hone in on the related behaviors.

If a best friend is coming over for a play date, we can relay the message to our child that the friend will want to use all of the toys. Sharing is going to come up. Let’s do that…huh?

Then, as we all know, our child will rip something from their besties’ innocent little paws. Crying and arguing may commence…and we should really do our best to let this play out…to see what kind of results are reached…to allow problems to be solved. This is the socialization that we’re hoping for. And boy, will these same issues come up more and more as they age. Let them work it out if possible! It’s ok if feelings get hurt…we learn a lot when we find ourselves in unwanted emotional states. Again, this is within reason.

Remember though, we have to use the ‘reflection’ piece after the experience takes place. This can’t be while your kid is on the tablet, or watching a show It can’t be during the actual argument that they just had with their friend either. This is best done after some time has passed, once the friend has gone home…or during a break in the action.

Eye contact is key. Deliberate, honest words presented with love and care. Not judgment and belittlement. Think support and education and growth…not placement and insults and punishment.

There can be an ‘I told you so’ aspect to this reflection piece, because you actually did tell them so in the pre-teaching phase…ugh, the nerve! As much as you may want to use this…don’t. The lesson will naturally come to them through your discussion of what transpired. This reflection can build trust as well, depending on how you handle it. Let it be positive, bucket filling, and hold good karma. It’s not measurable, and it may return in unforeseen manifestations…but boy, does it matter.

Remember, after all this talking to your kid about the practice of letting others use their stuff, your child will be 10x more influenced by how you yourself actually share and help others.

How are you doing with that?

All love!

Jimmy Thorpe

emailsig