The Hafduh Diet

I absolutely despise websites that make you scroll for what you came for. Therefore, here is the diet. The philosophy and back story is below: 

Foods and drink that are allowed: 

water – spring or faucet if possible – if filtered, add electrolytes (see supplements below)

coffee – organic if possible, obviously no sugar can be added

extra virgin olive oil (highest quality you can find)

butter (local, grass fed if possible)

Salt – use both table salt (with iodine) and a sea or himalayan, etc. Colima is my favorite. No 

more than a teaspoon per day 

Coconut oil or coconut

Eggs (local, organic, and cage free if possible)

Any fruit (organic if possible) – use lime and lemon juice to flavor dishes

Any vegetable “  “  “

Any mushroom “  “  “ 

Potatoes – sweet is best…regular if necessary

Legumes – all dried or canned beans are great. 0 added sugars allowed. 

Organic plain yogurt – local if possible, 0 added sugar

Almond or Oat milk – 0 added sugar

Nuts – preferably macadamia, almonds, walnut, brazil, pecan (0 added sugars)

Salsa – 0 sugar added

Spices and herbs – cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, oregano, cilantro, etc. 

Fish – the smaller the better, and only packed in olive oil if canned. Some canned sardines for example are packed in cottonseed and rapeseed oil. Not allowed. No batter on fish allowed! Pan cook in olive oil. Or bake/broil

Bivalves – clams, oysters, mussels, scallops 

Cheese – organic if possible – preferably goat, blue, feta, mozzarella, parmesan, 0 added sugars or additives

Whole grains – quinoa, farro, whole grain rice (no white rice allowed), plain oats (make your own oatmeal with ingredients above – no instant or packaged oatmeal)

Seeds – flax, hemp, pumpkin, sunflower, chia, sesame, etc. all great options. 

I don’t eat meat but offer this for those that do:

Red meat –  local, grass fed (grass finished if possible) No hormones, antibiotics, steroids, MSG or sugars

Pork or Chicken – local, free range, organic if possible, No hormones, antibiotics, steroids, MSG or sugars

Foods and drink that aren’t allowed: 

Sugar – some foods like fruit and yogurt contain sugar naturally and that will be allowed. The main thing here is that we don’t consume any ‘added sugars’. Check labels. Dessert can be any fruit. Use this to satisfy the sweet tooth. Yogurt with cinnamon and fruit is very good. 

Bread – this one will be hard for me. But this HAFDuh Diet has a focus on low sugar and low carb. Bread is one of my weaknesses. Ok, here’s a caveat: If you hafduh have bread, you can have up to 1 slice per day BUT, only if you make the bread from scratch yourself. That means either a sourdough starter, or a scratch recipe (containing zero sugar) with whole grain flour (NO white flour) yeast, etc. No bagged or boxed mixes allowed whatsoever. 

Pasta – same as bread. Not allowed unless you make your own noodles (whole grain flour (no white), eggs, salt, extra virgin olive oil. No canned sauce allowed. Use lemon, garlic, e.v.o.o, oregano…or pesto…or fresh tomatoes etc. 

White Carbs – zero refined or white carbs allowed 

Most packaged foods – this is pretty much a whole foods diet, and most foods in packages have been processed, refined, and have other ingredients added. Not all, but most. We are looking for single ingredient foods here for the most part. 

Questions I have for myself

Can’t I just have sugar on weekends?  NO! At least for April, and hopefully longer…none! You know you’ll just binge for the weekend and ruin all of the progress you made all week. No. 

What about my birthday, or some other special occasion? Ok, 1 dessert per month allowed if it qualifies for a special occasion. Just 1! Savor the hell out of that thing. 

What about salad dressings? Duh…these are usually bad, and wash away all of the good we’re doing by eating greens and vegetables. Make your own, and have as much as you want:  EVOO, balsamic vinegar, lemon juice, salt. Done!

What about booze? No extra calories from booze allowed. What ingredients are in the beer or bourbon you’re drinking? You can’t tell me can you?  Because…they don’t have to be listed…so we don’t know, which isn’t cool. CAVEAT: You can drink any organic wine up to 1 glass per day. Note: most benefit from wine is within the ingredient Resveratrol, which you’d need to drink gallons to obtain sufficient amounts, and which can more easily, and more soberly be consumed through supplementation (see below). 

Why no cow’s milk or cream? Look, I actually see the benefit of unpasteurized, organic, local cream and cow milk…with no hormones, antibiotics, steroids, etc. I’m just not going to go through the trouble and expense of getting it. If I need a milk, I’ll use a sugar free oat or almond milk. If you Hafduh have cows milk, make it local and organic. 

Tea? yes, totally fine. 

Honey and Maple syrup? I don’t know…that’s a slippery slope. I want to find contentment without satisfying that sweet tooth. I know that these can be local, organic, 1 ingredient healthy sweeteners…but I need more discipline, so no. 

Peanut Butter? So I know that there are two ingredient peanut butters (nuts and oil) that could be ok. But, what kind of oil is being used? Probably some crap oil. Well, I suppose if it’s organic it’s ok. 2 ingredient organic peanut butter is fine.

Jelly? No, it’s too sweet and yummy, even if it’s only made with fruit and organic. I might find myself late at night with a spoon and a jar of peanut butter and jelly. This is not ok.

So why don’t you give yourself a time like 8pm to stop eating? That’s a good question. Although this is already going to be hard for me, and that might make it something I can’t sustain for month. I have dabbled in intermittent fasting, only eating between 12 noon and 8pm…but I’m not ready to commit to working within times yet. Maybe next month.


These are the supplements I’ve been taking, and will continue to take throughout the HAFDuh diet:

Beta Carotene – eye and skin health

Vitamin C – helps in collagen building (connective tissues, skin, etc.), immune system, blood pressure, antioxidant support, many more

Vitamin D – bones, inflammation, covid/sickness mitigation, maybe cancer prevention

Creatine – muscles, muscle function, neuromuscular, cognition, maybe help prevent parkinson’s and other neurological disease, 

Cocoa Flavanols – skin, cell regeneration, blood pressure

Omega 3’s – inflammation, blood pressure, aging, cognitions, eyes…too many to list! This is my number 1 recommended supplement. If you had to choose just one, this would be it!

Resveratrol – metabolic and cardiovascular health, longevity, hypertension, glucose sensitivity, etc. This supplement is another ringer. 

Collagen – connective tissues (joint health), skin, pain, arthritis, hypertension, diabetes…bone broth would be a good relative to this that I’ve used before.

Electrolyte Mineral Drops – I use a triple osmosis filtration system at home. This effectively removes toxic metals like lead, arsenic, etc. but also potentially removes all desired minerals. Therefore, I add them back in. Spring water probably doesn’t need this. 

Back Story and the Why behind The HAFDuh Diet

I woke up this morning very hungover. It wasn’t from booze though…it was from sugar. That’s more forgivable right? I’ve had an ongoing problem or ‘addiction’ with sugar actually. But that’s it! I hafduh do something about it. 

I actually do a pretty good job with diet overall. I’ve been able to maintain what I think is a healthy weight and BMI. I eat a pescatarian diet, consuming mostly fruit, vegetables, eggs, and whole grains. However, I have a sweet tooth. And it bit me in the backside this weekend. 

You see, I’ve been on a good streak as of late, not having too many sugary treats. But last night, I brought my daughter to the movies with some family. We love the movies! And we love to sneak in lots of boxes of dollar store or supermarket candy, knowing that I saved a fortune, not purchasing at the theater. A couple of boxes for my daughter, and a few for me…no harm right? Typical Friday night experience. 

I ended up eating a lot of M&M’s, a bunch of Milk Duds, and a LOT of Sour Patch Kids. It was so good. The mouth feels, the sweet, the sour…the fruity and then the chocolate. Oh my. I was in heaven, tilting back in my puffy recliner seat. Everything was great. Until the next morning. When I woke up all of my teeth and gums were really hurting. It was like the pain of having your braces tightened. Remember that? I mean, I brushed my teeth after the candy-fest…so I’m not sure what happened. Anyway, really painful grill for a couple of hours. 

To add to that? A searing headache, with pain directly above my eyebrows right in the forehead area. I’ve had these sugar related headaches before, so this was familiar. But it was direct, more over my left eye…and not fun. Lastly, my mouth was terribly dry. I felt dehydrated and also lethargic to say the least. I guess I got what I deserved right?

I told myself no sugar at all today, but while out near the seacoast with my daughter, and my headache still raging, I figured a little ‘hair of the dog’ would do me some good. You see, us sugar addicts, we find ourselves on this wheel of needing a little more sugar just to feel better, but then over-consuming and ending up feeling like crap. So there I was grabbing a chai-tea latte to get back on sugar road. Ahh, so warm and tasty…so sweet. This would surely do the trick! To no avail. I continued feeling terrible (headache, nausea, and lethargic) until about 5pm. 

By the way, I did hydrate the hell out myself with water and electrolytes first thing in the morning, and eat some eggs with yellow peppers and greens hoping that I’d feel better. THAT wasn’t working, so back to the sugar I went. 

All this to say, that I need some rules. I need some structure to follow for at least a short period of time. Some discipline. Because when I leave it up to myself…I’m pretty good for getting all of my nutrients, etc. within a day, but when it comes to after dinner time, sitting on the couch, I fall into addict mode, wondering what chocolate is in the pantry…will it be enough? What ice cream would act as a nice bed for that chocolate? What can be sprinkled or poured onto all of that? Then I’m gone. I end up consuming a huge amount of sugar directly before I go to bed. It’s the absolute worst thing to eat at the absolute worst time. Duh.

In lieu of wanting some rules to follow, I thought, ‘Duh, I know all of the rules that I should follow’. I know that sugar is pretty much as bad as cocaine when it comes to the science behind how addictive it is. A couple of years ago, I said okay I need a break, and I quit sugar cold-turkey. I had a constant headache AND crazy nightmares for the next 3 days! Nightmares! For 3 nights I was trying to escape this monumentally huge and rotating room, with no exits. Oh, there were monsters chasing me in said room. Then I googled it, and yeah nightmares is apparently one of the withdrawal symptoms for sugar. Go figure. If you’re wondering where you stand with sugar, try consuming zero for a day. It’s actually hard to do because so much of our foods have added sugars. After a day with zero sugar, assess your symptoms. Hopefully it’s not as bad as mine!

On top of that, I’ve completely torched my skin through the landscaping work that I do. About 5 years ago, I regrettably and embarrassingly went a couple of years in my work with no sunscreen or protection. That 2 years probably aged my skin about 10-15 years. It has seriously paid the price, and it’s time that I give it some TLC. Sugar actually hardens and breaks down collagen and elastin…the building blocks of our largest organ. I’m hoping that with this focus on avoiding sugar, and by using supplementation and other treatments, I’ll repair some of the damage I’ve done. 

But when I leave it ambiguous, and up to ‘me’ during those after meal times? It’s an absolute catastrophe. Therefore, I figured I better create a plan. A diet if you must. And I’ll follow it for at least a month to see what happens. 

It’s going to be hard as f*#k for me to do this. Avoiding sugar will not be easy. I’ll literally be having withdrawals for a couple of days. Nothing too serious though outside of headaches and nightmares. I can ease into this for the next week or so, then get really disciplined at the start of April. Please join me. I’d be happy to have someone to commiserate with. AND, I truly think this diet will be really beneficial for anyone who tries it. I’ve read and practiced a ton in regards to diets of the Mediterranean and Blue Zones (areas where the highest numbers of centenarians live), and I’d say this HAFDuh diet is close to some of those. I mean, it’s close to how I eat normally, just minus all of that addictive SUGAR!

It’s called the HAFDuh Diet because I hafduh do something about this ongoing issue of mine.  It’s Duh because I already know what I should be doing…Duh! I know that 1 box each of 2 different chocolate candies, and a huge bag of fruity sour ones isn’t a smart decision. But I can’t control it. I Hafduh get help! And, a convenient acronym to go with this diet is that it’s going to be Hard as F*#k for me to follow!  I’m sorry for the language. It just came to me in the morning car ride, my head pounding as I wondered what my next sugary fix would be.The Hard as F*#k Diet, or The HAFDuh Diet if the kids are around.  

And I know the final D in HAFDuh stands for ‘diet’ already…so saying HAFDuh Diet is saying diet twice. Look it just sounds better okay? The HAFDuh diet is my way to get myself on track for the next month, then maybe longer. With any luck, I’ll be in a healthy relationship with sugar at the end of April, and I’ll be on my way to that desired summer beach-body to boot. That’s why I’m following the HAFDuh Diet. Put a note in the post that you’ll join me…please?

yours in craving,